Finding Your Personal Style
In the last few years, I’ve noticed a lot of my friends making changes to the way they dress. In most cases, they are motivated by a desire to look more mature, stylish or put together. This might be a stage of life thing as most of my social circle are having children and progressing in their careers, but I can think of several examples from younger and older acquaintances as well.
I see a lot of guys struggling with this process. Many take the low risk option of buying new items from a brand that they already wear. A few will take a bigger swing and buy something they haven’t worn before, usually based on recommendations from someone else.
These purchases are usually underwhelming. After the novelty wears off, it often feels like you’re dressed the same as before, or you simply don't wear the item because you’re not comfortable in it.
It’s not wrong, or stupid, to make purchasing decisions based on ad campaigns or what you saw on instagram. It’s inevitable that our ideas, and the emotion to act on them, come from the things we see around us. But without some relatively coherent ideas about style, those reactions often lead us to buy things that don't feel good in the long term. A sense of personal style can help filter through the noise.
One way to hone in on your style is to take the time to think about what you already wear.
To do this, it can be helpful to think about one or two pieces of clothing that you feel good in and are naturally excited to wear. For each item, ask yourself what you like about it. Take the time to consider, and write down, how it makes you feel and what associations it brings to mind.
This can feel a bit forced or awkward if you’ve never done this before. I hear people say, “I like what I like,” as a way of rejecting pretentious descriptions of clothing (or wine, coffee, etc.) in ad campaigns or shops. Learning something new always feels awkward at the start. This will become second nature as you start paying more attention to what you, and others, are wearing. Do it as a way of making better, more intentional and informed choices. If you’re not trying to show off, it wont feel or come across as pretentious.
I did this recently with a pair of light wash jeans with a straight and comfortable fit from NEUW. The first thing I appreciate about them is the quality of the material. The denim is heavier than an average pair of jeans. It feels soft and durable. Quality material holds a lot of value for me. I like to think of the cotton being spun into yarn, and the yarn being woven into cloth. I like the heavier cloth because I feel like I am getting more of this quality material and that it will last over time.
NEUW
I also like the light wash and slightly relaxed fit of the jeans. I associate both with the youthful energy of the 80s, with a hint of earlier counterculture and punk movements. When I wear them I feel comfortable and conventional, but with a hint of something fun that goes subtly against the grain.
Clothing is a visual language that can be read and interpreted like a written language. When someone sees you in an outfit, their brain automatically calls up a set of cultural associations and impressions. Jeans give an impression of casual ruggedness. A worsted wool suit conveys conservative and business associations.
As you write down what you like about your clothing, make sure to include the cultural associations that they convey. Do they suggest youth, professionalism, wealth, intellect or ruggedness? It’s possible for a single piece of clothing to convey a combination of associations, but there are usually one or two that are dominant that will stand out most depending on how you wear the item.
Details matter a lot, in this regard. Depending on the cut and wash, a pair of jeans can suggest punk rock, workwear, dad vibes or hip hop.
Trust your instincts when you “read” a piece of clothing. Starting to think about these associations can be overwhelming for guys that are just starting to pay more attention to how they dress. You don’t need to overthink it. You are already versed in culture just from having lived, read, observed friends and watched TV. If a pair of jeans reminds you of Jerry Seinfeld, that’s probably what others are seeing too.
Tuning into the visual language of clothing, and making intentional decisions about how to use that language in your own choices is how you exercise your taste. Enjoy the process, and embrace the inevitable mistakes and false starts along the way.
